A Letter, To My (Future) Daughter..



A Letter, To My (Future) Daughter..

My Dearest Freya,

This letter is being written way before your time, before I’ve even met your mother, in a period of great turbulence for me. I’m not even sure why I’m writing it, given the uncertainty that engulfs me and my mind, but I felt it needed to be done. It may seem a confusing mess to you now, and in time I hope I can sit down with you and explain this part of my life in a little more detail.

I never want you to end up like I did, not having a full and rewarding relationship with your father. I consider that the worst thing I could possibly do to you, unforgivable, and I am absolutely determined not to let it be that way. Never let us neglect you Freya, never be afraid to tell us when you’re not feeling so great or when you feel something needs to change.

I guess this letter is also a heads-up. There are things in life I would love you to be, and things in life I wouldn’t. However, I am never going to presume to mould you in a specific way. I want you to be brought up the way I was by my mother in my early days, free. I want you to be conscious of the world around you; of its joys and ills; of its beauty and its darkness. I want you to be adventurous with your beliefs and morals, to find yourself in a sea of muddled psyches.

The world is an amazing place Freya, but to understand it takes time and patience and a willingness to accept things that may seem alien to you. You may never understand some parts of it, and there may be parts that resonate with you unexpectedly. I would whole-heartedly recommend going out into the world, as I have done so far with my emigration, as it will enable you to see things you’d never have thought possible.

So many cultures, so many people, so many customs; all of which you can learn from. You’ll grow as a person, as a human being, and that sense of wonder and enlightenment is both powerful and frightening. Don’t be afraid to let go of the familiarities of home, don’t be afraid of loneliness. I’m currently fighting that battle, not because of my isolation in the world, my lack of a place to call home, but because of my past, because I’ve felt isolated for so many years of my young life.

Live for yourself, my dearest Freya, and don’t concern yourself too much with the opinions of others. Don’t listen when people criticize your dress sense, or your choice of job, or the boy/girl you go out with. Don’t let them determine who you are, don’t let that peer pressure drag you down. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and I was thoroughly miserable for it. I hadn’t many friends, because I was different, and I felt like some kind of freak as I thought one’s success was based on popularity. Don’t get sucked into the rat race that young life seems to have become.

I’d also like to see you grow up to be an honest girl. Hiding things leads to introversion, dwelling on problems and worries that eat at you until you feel you can’t take it anymore. Find someone to open up to, whether that is us, your parents, or a friend. Or even someone you don’t know. I know from experience that it can be a very liberating feeling to open up to a stranger. You don’t get any of the bias that you would from someone close, so you can often get a pretty good view of what the whole picture is.

Explore your creativity. I’d always encourage and support you with this, whether you choose to write, draw, find solace in music or find release with drama. This creative side can be your savior, a place to turn to when thoughts in your head become trapped and jumbled. See the words on the page, hear the notes you play and breathe in the visual splendor you create. Creativity is liberation.

Always make time for people. Whether they are friends, family members or simply someone asking for directions in the street, connecting with people is one of the most rewarding things you can do. You’ll make lifelong friends, and hear stories of life and misfortune. Take all of this in, use it, learn from it, grow from it and most of all, and enjoy it.

I’d like you to know and understand that nobody is perfect. Anyone who claims to be is lying. Everyone has their issues, everyone has faults, and everyone is capable of causing hurt and being hurt. Remember this in your dealings with people. I am by no means perfect, I have my glaring faults and every day I learn from them. Every day I see something or hear something that makes me feel, and you should never, ever be afraid to feel. Feeling shows that you are human, and all we can do in life is try to be the best human we can possibly be.

Embrace life, my darling Freya, use it and mould it the way YOU want it to be. You are in control of your own destiny, no matter what you may hear or experience. Sometimes, life will get you down; sometimes it will give you such a massive high. Never give up in the face of adversity, as I have come so close to doing. Never feel like your life is not worth living; never harbor thoughts of ending it prematurely. I’ve been to that dark place, on more than one occasion, and then I remember the small things which make life beautiful, and that gives me the strength to carry on.

Most of all, the thought of having you in my life is what I live for, the thought of seeing you grow, seeing you smile.

And remember this final thought – you’re beautiful, and always will be. You have the gift of life, and the gift of freedom, and the gift of love. Use that love, spread that love, to any and all you see fit. It is by far the most beautiful thing we have, and to waste it is to waste life. Never be afraid to love, even when love hurts.

Love, my dear, is what brought us you, the single most inspiring and beautiful thing I have done in my life.

Always yours,

Your father,

About anasebrahem

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