Loneliness is right.It’s not going anywhere.Its always there.Some days you feel it more present than others but you’d be crazy to think you found a way to beat it.Instead of fearing it,thrive off of it.Loneliness does make the soul stronger,it tears walls and mountains down inside you and traps you by its own means.But it gives you songs and books and incredible amounts of time instead.It brings you an understanding of yourself and the realization of just how human you are.I understand something now that I’ve been through heartbreak and loneliness for some time.No matter how happy my friends make me,no matter how happy a man might make me some day.No matter how surrounded by love I am,I will always feel lonely and misunderstood.

Because I know I can’t possibly hope to find people to fill all the empty spaces I feel.You shouldn’t even try because you’re only going to find more holes. I know I can’t possibly expect to find someone who understands the deepest and most secret part of myself that I myself can’t even explain.I don’t doubt others will come very close,but if I keep hoping to find people to ease the pain and loneliness until there is none,I’m going to go insane with grief and disappointment.That is too much responsibility to put on another person.

They say A person will find Someone out there who is compassionate,sensitive,and beautifully intelligent.Those people are the exception for the lost and broken.They will be the ones to get the closest.Well what if I’m not the lost and broken searching for understanding and acceptance?What if I’m the sensitive person someone is meant to find?

How can I ever expect anyone to ever fully understand just who I am?How can I hope to find someone who will appreciate every Beautiful and hideous part of me and forgive me my every god and devil inside me?We as humans simply can’t rely on anything solid but loneliness,time,pain,and happiness.Because those are the things we replay in our heads.Everything else is unstable.We have the capacity to hold universes and infinite knowledge yet we replay the same tunes because we think,that’s all we are.

About anasebrahem

One Response to Loneliness

  1. Loneliness and Me says:

    It’s hard to live with loneliness, but pretending to have connections with people when there’s non is eve more difficult. Jodi Picoult says, “let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” Maybe it’s something we can’t find a solution for.

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